What to discuss at the first meeting
Explain the relationship history, living arrangements and financial connections. The lawyer can assess which issues require advice without assuming the same pathway applies to every unmarried couple.
Ask about the relevant jurisdiction and requirements before relying on assumptions based only on the length of the relationship.
How the engagement may progress
- 01
Explain the relationship history, current arrangements and outcome you want. Identify immediate concerns and provide every existing order or agreement.
- 02
Discuss negotiation and family dispute resolution. Parenting applications generally involve prior dispute resolution unless an exception applies; ask the lawyer to assess the appropriate process.
- 03
Ask how an agreement would be documented and implemented. Clarify who handles related transfers, finance and estate-planning work.
Fees and the scope of work
Ask for separate estimates for advice, negotiation, document preparation and court work. A fixed divorce-application fee does not necessarily cover parenting or financial disputes.
Ask for a written scope identifying the work you are authorising, the person responsible and when costs will be reviewed. If you only want advice on one step, say so before the firm begins wider work.
Dates to raise at first contact
Highlight court dates, proposed travel or relocation and any planned property sale. Ask which time limits apply to your particular issues rather than assuming there is one deadline for everything.
Questions to ask a de facto relationships adviser
- Which facts determine the available process?
- What evidence should I gather about our arrangements?
- Will you handle parenting, property and divorce together or separately?
- How will you communicate with me safely?
- What would change the proposed approach or budget?
